BY ANITA DRINGHK
At the request of several Democratic Senators, the U.S. Senate Select Committee on Ethics is offering specialized training in preparation for the potential outcome of midterm elections on November 8th.
Along with a Code of Conduct refresher, U.S. Senators will be offered a Disaster Preparedness course in case Herschel Walker wins the race in Georgia and replaces Senator Warnock. The training will touch on such topics as: How Not to Laugh When Herschel Speaks; How Not to Let Herschel Know You think He’s the Dumbest Creature You’ve Ever Met; How Not to Gawk at Herschel as If He’s a Train Wreck; and How to Still Get Something Done If Herschel Ends Up on Your Committee.
A senator who has signed up for the course and requested anonymity said, “It’s clear to me that this course is necessary if there’s any hope at all for the Democratic side of the Senate accomplishing anything more than laughing the next six years if Herschel Walker wins a seat—especially if he brings that fake police badge with him.”
Members of the Select Committee on Ethics are confident that that the Disaster Preparedness course will be highly effective based on the success of past specialized courses they’ve offered: How to Refrain from Punching Ted Cruz; and How Not to Throw Up a Little Bit Every Time Lindsey Graham Speaks.