WHITE HOUSE SILVERWARE IS MISSING

White House in lockdown mode during search for silverware.

By ANITA DRINGHK

Joseph R. Biden, Jr. and Dr. Jill Biden have officially become the President and First Lady of the United States, but a delay occurred in calling the White House home.

Despite the $500K professional cleaning service price tag, it took longer than expected to scrub the stench from Trump’s administration out of the White House and install new toilet seats. And people were prohibited from entering the White House to move in the first couple’s belongings during a lockdown while staff scoured the building in an attempt to locate some missing items.

While employee of Grime-Be-Gone, Colleen Nerr, was disinfecting the President’s Dining Room shortly before noon, she noticed that a box was empty that typically holds the Valley Forge silverware, which has been used by every presidential couple since George and Martha Washington. “I noticed that the lid of the box wasn’t completely shut,” she said. “When I closed it, I heard a hollow sound. I opened the box and saw that the silverware was missing. I called my boss to report it right away so I wouldn’t get blamed for taking it.”

The owner of Grime-Be-Gone, Paul Ish, immediately contacted White House security and the building was locked down so that nobody could leave the premises with the valuable silverware. During the interrogation of the cleaning crew, the search for the silverware also became a search for a small Tiffany chandelier that would potentially be worth a lot on the black market. But it was eventually determined that what Grime-Be-Gone employee Rhize Enshine thought was a chandelier on top of Donald Trump’s head as he departed the White House for the last time, was actually his hair waving good-bye in the early morning breeze. But authorities continue to examine footage of a suspicious lump under the overcoat of the former president that was captured on surveillance video as he took his final stroll across the White House lawn. 

Donald Trump departs the White House for the last time.

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