CRUZ IS ALL SET FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER

BY ANITA DRINGHK

Sesame Street may have to find a replacement for its beloved eight-foot two-inch resident, Big Bird.

Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) was spotted wheeling a full and feathery oversized duffel bag at Houston Intercontinental Airport as he returned from a quick trip to New York where Sesame Street is filmed. The excursion occurred after a heated twitter exchange between Cruz and America’s favorite—and tallest—six-year-old. On Saturday Big Bird tweeted, “I got the COVID-19 vaccine today! My wing is feeling a little sore, but it’ll give my body an extra protective boost that keeps me and others healthy.” Cruz angrily responded that the tweet was “Government propaganda…for your 5 year old!”

An attendant on Cruz’s flight, who asked to remain anonymous, states that she suspected fowl play when she overheard Cruz bragging to others flying in first class. The surly senator said he was “having Big Bird for Thanksgiving dinner” and that he “already had [his] fattest fat pants pressed and ready to go for the upcoming holiday.”

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