Florida’s Governor Ron DeSantis, who has a history of preventing children from being exposed to truth, has declared a new Executive Order. It prohibits the state’s future history-class students from learning about Donald Trump’s extraordinary indictment resulting from a hush-money payment of $130,000 to porn star Stormy Daniels to cover up the alleged affair they had shortly after Trump’s wife gave birth to their son.

History teachers in the Sunshine State are directed to keep their future students in the dark concerning the 45th president’s sinful shenanigans. Even though the governor enjoys invoking Trump’s problem with a porn star when it benefits him, DeSantis’ order declares that any Florida teacher’s effort to shine a light on twice-impeached Trump’s history-making incident will result in prosecution.

A spokesperson for Governor DeSantis defended his latest efforts to shield Floridians from facts. “Even though 69% of Florida’s children were conceived in the back of a pickup prior to a shotgun wedding, this state has a zero-tolerance policy for sex outside of marriage—and reality in general. Floridians are America’s most moral people. By banning teachers from talking about Donald Trump’s personal life, we’ll be able to keep children from learning a lot of nasty ‘p’ words, including preponderance of evidence.” When asked if the spokesperson’s own children will also be shielded from learning about former President Trump’s unprecedented pornographic moments, she responded, “Yes, of course—we have to withhold the truth from all students so we can guarantee that Florida’s children are unable to engage in critical thinking. Future Republicans will need Florida’s votes.”