WITCH-HUNTERS INCREASINGLY FRUSTRATED

BY ANITA DRINGHK

New York Attorney General, Letitia James, has accused former president Donald Trump of a pattern of fraud and misrepresentation that is “astounding.” The State of New York is suing the Trump Organization for 250 million dollars and is requesting that financial and business restrictions be placed on Trump and three of his children.

In a civil lawsuit filing that includes a compelling 222 pages of documentation, the former president has allegedly committed fraud for years—including while in the Executive office—by deliberately inflating assets and providing false valuation. Despite the AG’s clear statements that this was not a political witch hunt and that two judges have dismissed those claims, Donald Trump, his children, and his supporters are continuing to call the Southern District of New York’s (SDNY) efforts to hold him accountable a “witch hunt.” This is the last straw for witch-hunters across America.

“‘Witch hunt’ is what Trump and his supporters say in response to every legal claim made against him,” said Ivy Surchin, president of Witch Hunters of America (WHOA), “and it’s beyond frustrating because there have been a lot of valid legal claims made against him the past six years.”

Co-founding member of WHOA, Ike Cancatchum, agrees. “It’s frustrating that I spent two years of my life getting my associate degree in witch-hunting at Transylvania University in Kentucky. And now the Trump movement is making that degree meaningless by calling every charge brought against Donald Trump a ‘witch hunt.’ There have been so many charges brought against him that ‘witch hunt’ has taken on a lot of negative connotations and has become a dirty thing to say. It’s becoming increasingly difficult for me and other witch-hunters to make a decent living.”

It is presently unclear what SDNY’s latest claims will mean for the future of the Trump organization, but what is known is that the twice-impeached former president will be facing even more litigation as a result. WHOA intends to file a cease-and-desist order against Donald Trump for repeatedly misrepresenting the art of witch-hunting and causing witch-hunters irreparable financial harm. “He’s hurting our industry,” said Surchin. “Since 2016, there has been a clear correlation between the decreased potential income for witch-hunters and the decline in far-right Republicans using our services. He’s giving all of us a bad name—and it’s got to stop! WHOA is committed to undoing the damage Trump has caused and restoring the reputation of America’s witch-hunters.”